آیا ایمان شیطانی است؟

I'm just venting after decades as a member of the Faith, but 90% inactive. I'm just looking for what's true in life. No, the Faith isn't evil, but I feel it is on a deeply emotional level. Is it controlling? It feels that way to me. It's a converting machine. Every meeting ever went to was about teaching. I eventually felt it had nothing to do about spiritual learning or growth. Eventually after many years I just stopped going. I felt that the moral bar was set so high, that no human could possible jump over it. But I was just taking a walk thinking about it, and it just feels evil to me, very controlling, although one is free to follow or not follow. So I have been reinvestigating all it's claims. Just my thoughts.